Can You Tell the Difference Between Mick Jagger and Winston Churchill?

Did you know that to Americans all British people are indistinguishable from each other? It’s sad, but true. We just can’t tell those unwashed masses of porridge-faced sausage-eaters apart!

As die-hard anti-racists, however, the Union Forever has taken it upon itself to teach our fellow Americans the rudiments of telling the difference between one British person and another.

Let’s start with the fundamentals: The Difference Between Mick Jagger and Winston Churchill.

When it comes to telling the difference between British people, Mick Jagger and Winston Churchill are a great place to begin because they’re pretty much the most American-y British people to have ever lived. Churchill had an American mother, was morbidly obese, and made some very poor choices in Iraq, while Jagger made his fame playing playing Rock & Roll, a genre of music so exclusively American that you can hear eagles soaring and apple pies baking every time Jagger touches a microphone. This means that their bodies and faces have all sorts of “American” visual cues that make telling them apart relatively easy.

Let’s begin.

Is this Mick Jagger or Winston Churchill?

Winston Churchill 2 (13)

Winston Churchill.

Is this Mick Jagger or Winston Churchill?

Mick Jagger (5)

Mick Jagger.

Is this Mick Jagger or Winston Churchill?

Winston Churchill 2 (11)

Winston Churchill.

Is this Mick Jagger or Winston Churchill?

Winston Churchill 2 (3)

Winston Churchill.

Is this Mick Jagger or Winston Churchill?

Mick Jagger (3)

Mick Jagger.

Is this Mick Jagger or Winston Churchill?

Winston Churchill 2 (2)

Winston Churchill.

Is this Mick Jagger or Winston Churchill?

Mick Jagger (6)

Mick Jagger.

Is this Mick Jagger or Winston Churchill?

Mick Jagger (8)

Mick Jagger.

Is this Mick Jagger or Winston Churchill?

Winston Churchill 2 (1)Mick Jagger.

Is this Mick Jagger or Winston Churchill?

Winston Churchill 2 (5)

Winston Churchill.

Is this Mick Jagger or Winston Churchill?

Mick Jagger (1)

Winston Churchill.

Is this Mick Jagger or Winston Churchill?

Mick Jagger (1)

Mick Jagger.

Is this Mick Jagger or Winston Churchill?

Dizzee Rascal

Winston Churchill.

Is this Mick Jagger or Winston Churchill?

Winston Churchill 2 (2)

Mick Jagger.

Is this Mick Jagger or Winston Churchill?

Winston Churchill 2 (12)

Winston Churchill.

Is this Mick Jagger or Winston Churchill?

Winston Churchill 2 (7)

Winston Churchill.

Is this Mick Jagger or Winston Churchill?

Mick Jagger (7)

Mick Jagger.

Is this Mick Jagger or Winston Churchill?

Winston Churchill and Mick Jagger

Trick question! It’s actually both Winston Churchill and Mick Jagger.

Congratulations! You’ve now mastered the skill of telling Winston Churchill from Mick Jagger. Next week, we’ll be moving on to the much more challenging question, The Difference Between William Shakespeare and Robert Gascoyne-Cecil, the 7th Marquess of Salisbury.

Until then!

(Did you enjoy this informative quiz? Then share it! Otherwise the U4E is going to starve to death. Also if you’re the sort of person interested in the United Kingdom’s continued existence, check out Wait Here, a series of comics drawn by Grace Wilson about the eternal misery of that other eternal union across the pond. The art alone is worth the click, we promise.)