Sometimes democracy sucks. Sometimes, despite your best efforts, your fellow elected representatives vote for stuff you just don’t like. Remember how infuriating it was when they tried to socialize healthcare/outlaw abortion/raise your taxes/lowered other people’s taxes/rename your post office after someone who either was or was not a treasonous, slave-owning Confederate? Sometimes it sucks so much that, in the words of the noted parliamentarian Fred Durst, you need to “break somebody’s fucking face tonight. Rolling. Rolling. Rolling.”
And that’s okay! Occasionally losing your shit in the halls of parliament and trying to bludgeon your political opponents to death is as essential to a healthy democracy as oppressing racial minorities is to successful totalitarian dictatorship. All over the world, politicians regularly put aside all the posturing and backroom manipulating that dominates their lives, and come together, as one, to have a good old fashioned parliamentary riot.
Let’s count ‘em down!
Did you watch the SNL 40th Anniversary retrospective Sunday night? I certainly didn’t. Because Saturday Night Live is terrible. Unbelievably terrible. So terrible that to smother the cast with a pillow would be seen as a universal act of mercy on par with Jerry Lewis refusing to release his Holocaust dramedy The Tears of the Clown.
And we all know this. If you were on Twitter or Facebook during #SNL40 all anyone was posting about was how unfunny the show had become, how stale, how lazy, how much like the sketch comedy show parody “TGS” from 30 Rock.
What happened? There was a time in America when Saturday Night Live was the cutting edge of television comedy, when the great comedians of their eras – Bill Murray, Steve Martin, Tina Fey, Eddie Murphy, Amy Poehler – all cut their teeth and plied their trade on its stage. How did such a gleaming institution fall into such complete degradation?
I think I have an answer.
Saturday Night Live has forgotten how sketch comedy works.
Recently, we at the Union Forever enraged the nation of Scotland when we published our factual, accurate, and completely correct comparison between the British country and North Korea. Countless Scots, shocked by the truth, gave voice to their ire on the Union Forever’s Facebook page.
Just like Gandhi, we at The Union Forever deeply believe in the light of truth, no matter how difficult it might be to speak it, or how difficult it might be for listener to hear. Also, like Gandhi, we’re not English, so please stop accusing us of being English. Or Welsh. Or even European. Also, on that note, someone please tell me what “Alga gu brath” means in the comments so I don’t have to go through the trouble of Googling it.
But enough digression. People of Scotland (or, really, I guess actually I’m only addressing Scottish citizens who were shit-talking our website), today I have taken it upon myself to take you to task. I intend to reveal to you that, based on entirely arbitrary criteria, William Wallace is kind of comparable to Kim Jong Un in the same ways that both of those national icons are probably also comparable to other arbitrarily selected national icons or even regular people throughout history. You can scorn me for it. You can hate me all you want. You can burn me in effigy, murder my pets, and send death threats to my family members. But you have to hear the truth: (more…)