Pennsylvania Uber Alles: An Alien-Inspired Real Estate Black Hole

They're coming. They're coming. They're coming.

They’re coming. They’re coming. They’re coming.

It’s been awhile since we’ve published a missive from the Kingdom of Despair (what can we say? Like most Pennsylvanians we’ve recently been imprisoned), but the time has come to once again to stare deeply into the abyss.

The abyss of men who are terrified of aliens. (more…)

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A Castle in a Field Outside Lexington Kentucky

Castle Post

If someone described to you the Lexington castle, you would call them a liar. You would say there was no way that a fully formed, turreted, walled, drawbridged, Medieval Times-esque castle was sitting in a field off a rural thoroughfare leading between Lexington, Kentucky’s second largest city, and Versailles, Kentucky’s 42nd. But there it definitely is, massive and gray and inexplicable.

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Pennsylvania Uber Alles: Fecal Matter Birthday Shower

What’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to you at a birthday party? Did somebody drop the cake? Did the birthday boy cry when his parents bought him the wrong video game? Did a dog bite your hand while you tried to surreptitiously dispose of your burnt hot dog? Were you merely bored out of your skull?

Well whatever suffering you’ve encountered, it’s nothing—NOTHING—compared to the horrible fate that waited a group of Pennsylvanians celebrating a Sweet 16 in the Philadelphia suburb of Levittown on Friday.

According to local news reports, shortly after presenting the cake to the birthday girl, the 40 some guests looked up to discover that a passing airplane had emptied its bowel movement storage tanks and it was now was raining human fecal matter.

In the words of one attendee, “It was brown. It was everywhere. It got on everything.”

~Pennsylvania Uber Alles~

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